Righteous?

I want to write something profound, something that when I reread it, would put a smile on my face and I would know that it was worthwhile. Too bad I cannot do that on command. Honestly, I am not that great a writer. My goal here is not to be as eloquent as possible, but to simply put forth what I am contemplating and some other of my random thoughts.
Once again, I’m writing when I should probably be going to bed as I’m already tired and need to be at work at 6:30, but here I am still.
Thursdays are definitely my long day of the week as classes start at 9:30, at 12:15 I get lunch, I have a meeting at 2:15, two discussions at 4 and 5, then I help set up the sound system for Agape and finally I help work the sound system during the meeting. Since I got up early this morning to do some reading before class, I was out of the house from about 8:15 to 10:30…yes, it’s been a long day, but I love 6:00. At that moment my weekend begins and everything I do from then on in the week is nothing but fun. I love music. I love listening to it, playing it, creating it, I love analyzing it. Seriously, I love everything about music, so the work with the sound system is nothing but enjoyment for me.
I had a meeting today and the conversation came to the topic of God’s gift of salvation. I wanted very strongly to just tune out because I, being terribly pridefully, thought there was nothing there for me to learn. I’m thankful that I didn’t actually tune out, because something was brought up that really gave me a new outlook and appreciation for this free gift we refer to as salvation. When we choose to receive this beautiful free gift, not only are all of our transgressions forgiven and forgotten, but we are also counted as righteous. It’s like our bank account being in the red and then this benevolent stranger goes and wipes away all your debt, but then he also gives you a billion dollars on top of all that. Honestly, the thought that I could be righteous is mind-blowing. I’m thinking, does God really know what I’ve done in my life to date? I know better, though. The beautiful thing is that in spite of all the times I have betrayed His perfect love, He knows each and every one and forgives me day after day and still calls me blameless. He sees beyond all the things that I have done to dirty the perfectly clean life He has given me and counts me as perfect. The word “righteous” continues to ring in my head, because it seems almost too amazing and poetic to be true. I want to believe it, but it’s almost beyond my imagination.
I was going to make some comment about the cold weather, but the combination of having Good Will Hunting in the background and it being a little late, completely derailed that train of thought. I want to go to Boston in the summer. I’ve been there in the winter and I admittedly enjoyed it. I think that I would enjoy it even more in the late spring or summer months.
I miss last summer and the thought that I will never have another summer like it is terribly saddening, but at the same time it makes me all the more grateful for the 11 weeks I spent with the people I came to know and love in possibly my favorite place in this entire hemisphere.
Ok, it’s now time I go to sleep…I’m kinda looking forward to work in the morning, because other than the actual waking up, I do love my work and my job.

— February 6, 2009