I Am the Thing Holding Me Back
Have you ever asked yourself the question “what’s holding me back?” And what was the answer to that question? Because this past weekend I found myself asking this very question. I mean, I wouldn’t so much consider myself stuck spiritually, but wary of allowing myself to get to that point. So I asked the question and what I heard back was “you”. As in, I am the thing holding me back. This caught me off guard, as I was expecting maybe an attribute or aspect, but certainly not this. And then He explained Sunday morning.
“ No unbelief made [Abraham] waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was ‘counted to him as righteousness.’” — Romans 4:20–22
Unbelief is holding me back
Abraham was convinced that God would do all He promised. This fact is the difference between average Cameron and Father Abraham. Things get bad, the situation starts to look bleak and I feel the need to take the reins. That’s the point where Abraham would pray and pray harder. And I think this difference breaks down to Abraham having no doubt about who God is. Somewhere along the line, I’ve settled for a god far less capable and loving. Intrinsically, there’s nothing wrong with this, per se, however I follow Christ and this is far from the God whom He intimately called Father.
Shame holds us back
We live in a culture that values proving individual worth. This is a critical fact that we need to agree upon moving forward. Whether it plays out as a mistrust of authority, lack of faith in others or a need to prove ourselves, the impetus is generally strikingly similar. It is this very need to prove individual worth that tears our reliance and affections from God. It is this very core of our society that blinds us to the part of our heart that is dying. We want so badly to be righteous, to enjoy God’s best for our lives, but we can’t allow Him to follow through. We have to help along the process in some way to prove we can do it, to prove we’re worth it. But God’s already told us that long ago.
Prayer is holding me back
Have you ever prayed to believe? As a request in your prayer, have you ever asked God to increase your faith? If you haven’t, stop what you’re doing. If you have and it hasn’t worked, how long did you pray? You, also, need to stop what you’re doing. In your prayer, I want you to include two things. One, ask God to help you believe. Two, tell both Him and yourself you know He’ll follow through. No, you won’t believe it. It’ll be a lie. But faith isn’t always strolls through daisy-strewn fields in sunlight, skipping hand-in-hand. Faith is forged through the days we slog through the mud. And faking it till we are made is a prime example of this. Only, don’t stop until you believe it. Don’t stop until He’s granted your request. He will. I know it.
Before we start to blame our stagnant faith on circumstances, we have to accept that we are the very things holding ourselves back. We’ve had help from society, but ultimately it’s up to us to desire a deeper, fulfilling relationship with our Father. I’ve told you that shame and my lack of prayer are holding me back. Maybe that’s not the crux of the matter for you, but I guarantee prayer is a large part of the answer. I’d be surprised if it isn’t the answer. But, it’s your life. So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to get stepping, or should I say praying, friends.