Half Kidding?
I’m not going to taint this post with beginning by any statement of personal holiness or righteousness. I’ve not been the person I’d like to be all the time, but this is not to say I’m trying to claim Satan’s best messenger boy either. Either way you put it, nothing’s been fantastic in my conduct. Yes, it’s past 1 in the morning. Yes, it’s also Friday and I have work in a few short hours, but no, I need to do something that makes me feel active right now rather than sleep. I’m not trying to diminish my need for sleep, but it just seems to take a bit of a backseat at the current moment. This week’s been rather uneventful other than the puppies getting their shots and slowly trickling out of the house (having taken one to work with me this morning to give to my Dad to give to a cousin of mine as a birthday gift) and the little thing or the other that’s come up but right now seems of little importance in the grand scheme of things. I honestly have to ask myself what is so important about this post that I have to post it now, but I’m really having trouble figuring out what that is. While I’m thinking of that, I will relate my evening. It began with my brother arriving at the office around 2:30 or so. He was actually an hour earlier than I had expected which threw me off a tad, but nothing to worry about. I was able to stave off leaving early with him for about an hour when he and I went and grabbed Einstein Bros. iced coffees together (cute I know). We then returned to the office and just hung out for awhile until my dad and uncle were both ready and we all went to a nice half-indoor-half-outdoor bar not far from the office and just caught up and had a good time with one another. My uncle left sometime around 8, my dad around 8:30 and my brother and I didn’t leave until after 9. I was supposed to go see Transformers with my friend Ryan and his girlfriend, however I thought it wise to tell them to just enjoy the movie without me seeing as I had no idea when I might get out to their place, let alone when I would be ready to then get to a theater. I hadn’t and still haven’t eaten dinner, but that was supposed to be taken care of when I met my brother at the restaurant he had specified after he had to run a quick errand. I stupidly decided to park 5 blocks up from the restaurant thinking it was going to be the next intersection (WRONG!). My phone was dying, so I texted Ryan alerting him of my plight and he replied that I should just go to his place and my brother would meet us there. This was a little after 11 maybe…I can’t tell you how far I walked or where exactly I have been, but the walk took me over an hour and a half of being lost to find the right apartment as the street it’s on has two distinct sections that don’t connect =/. No worse for the wear, I arrived sometime after 12:30 completely drenched in sweat, but nevertheless glad to finally be where I had planned on being with the odyssey and subsequent attempt to page the right apartment for nearly another 15 minutes haha.
Something I did not expect to learn/hear again (COMPLETELY SWITCHING GEARS) is that I can’t be anyone’s white knight. I can’t flawlessly come onto the scene and swoop in, saving the princess and living happily ever after. Life simply doesn’t work that way. Being blunt, I screw up and I screw up a lot. I’m not saying I screw up more than the “average” man, but I certainly screw up no less, that I guarantee. So, let’s cut the crap and I can just be who I am. The chivalry in me I cannot kill, but the air of perfection just doesn’t cut it. I am not perfect, never have been, never will be. Therefore, I can be the black knight, the guy who you kinda want to root for, but you know he has some definite character flaws and when he does get the girl, you can’t really boo, but you’re not disillusioned into thinking he’s Prince Charming or anything fantastical like that. I guess that’s not much of a breakthrough, as it actually originated as a somewhat random, off-the-cuff comment made to a friend in which I was actually half-kidding, but saw the greater truth upon reflecting on this comment. I think this just adds more proof to the thought that I should follow my own advice, even when I may offer it in a joking manner.
I’m going to keep this brief as I need sleep, but I’m definitely stoked for this weekend seeing Mat Kearney later on today and then Rascal Flatts on Saturday with my sister. I love music, something I may have mentioned before, so this is really going to be a treat getting to hang out with a slightly different grouping of friends for Mat and then getting to spend the next day with the sis. Yeah, you could say I’m most definitely stoked. To make things even better, I’ll be down in the Outer Banks starting Tuesday night and then in VA Beach Friday to Sunday for the 4th. Despite my lack of spiritual satisfaction at the moment, I do have a lot else to look forward to on the very near horizon. That being said, I really do want to work on being more Christ-centered in my day-to-day life especially in the aspects of prayer and giving up even the mundane to Him. Night!